21

A few months ago, I finally celebrated the day I had been waiting for the majority of my college career. To me, 21 meant that I could (finally) go to all of the nice bars in Fort Worth, attend Happy Hour and Brunch, and it would be wonderful! The majority of my friends turned 21 before me, so the last couple months of being 20 seemed to drag on.  Well, friends, I made it, and now that I have been 21 for a little while, I want to share with you 21 things I have learned.

Reality

1.     It is not as glamorous as you think.

      I’m sorry if I just burst your bubble by saying that, but it’s true. Yes, going to the bars is fun every once in a while, and 21 has some perks, but it is not all fun and games. There’s more responsibility, it gets expensive, and life starts getting real.

2.     Happy Hour rocks.

       Anyone who knows me knows I am not much of a night person, however, I am almost always down for Happy Hour. It is a great time with good friends, and if you find the right place, it can be really inexpensive.

3.     So does Brunch.

        That brings me to my next point. I love brunch. The food is incredible, the company is grand, and the mimosas rock. Another real perk of being 21.

4.     There is a newfound maturity about 21.

       When I came back to TCU for the new semester, I was amazed by how much everyone had grown up over the summer. Everyone has this new quiet maturity about them that is hard to explain; you just have to experience it.

5.     Real life begins rapidly approaching.

        Graduation is in just seven short months. Seven. In seven months I will not have the comfort of college to fall back on. I will be a real life adult who has to pay her own bills all by herself. As great as college is at preparing us for our careers, it is not real life. For nearly four years now, I have been in the wonderful bubble called TCU with a great support system. Most of the time my biggest stressors have been my next project or test. Very soon, it will be real life adulty things like bills and my real life job. When you turn 21, these are things you generally start preparing for and thinking about, and let me tell you it can be scary.

6.     Adulting is hard.

        Although I would not quite consider myself a full-blown adult yet as I am still enjoying my last year in college, I am having to do way more adult things than I have had to in the past, such as attend professional development for teaching (yay)!, schedule, pay for, take, and pass certification exams, attend career fairs, make sure my resume is up to date, schedule all of my necessary appointments, and be a master of time management. I’m still working on the art of adulting.

7.     Sometimes you are the adultiest adult in the room.

        I have looked around more than once for an adult, then realized that would be me. It can be terrifying, but also really exciting.

8.     People look up to you.

       Gone are the days of being a little baby freshman, a naïve sophomore, or a junior that thinks she has it all together. I am now 21 and a senior; one of the oldest undergrads on campus. Not only do younger college students look up to me, ask me for advice about life, college, how to survive the junior block in College of Ed, etc., but the kids I nanny/chauffeur (now in 9^th and 7^th grade), the third graders I get to spend Tuesdays with at my internship, and my younger cousins also look up to me. So many people are watching me, the way I live my life, what my perspectives are, how I deal with different challenges thrown my way, and more. This fact encourages me to set a positive example for those around me. I am constantly asking myself, “what example am I setting? What legacy am I leaving?” Although this can feel like a lot of pressure sometimes, as I do not have all the answers or “have it all together,” it is also rewarding.

Embrace the Journey

9.     Stay as involved as possible.

       Go to that philanthropy event, participate in intramurals, attend that guest speaker, hang out with those underclassmen, show up to that sisterhood, even if you are busy. Say yes to as many things as you can and enjoy the last little bit of your college career, because before you blink, it will be over.

10.  “Surviving, not thriving,” although a clever saying, is not a way to live life.

       I have heard this mantra since I was a freshman and often catch myself using it when someone asks me how I’m doing. It’s cute and catchy, and sometimes true, however it is not a place to camp out and is certainly not a way to live life. Maya Angelou so beautifully said, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” May we all strive live like this.

11.  There’s a lot of things I still don’t know.

        When I was 18 and leaving for college for the first time, I thought I knew so much. I am here to tell you three years later, there is so much I do not know, and that is okay! I am learning something new every day and that is what matters.

12.  You have to be okay with the uncertainty of the future.

        I am at that point in my life where people constantly ask me what I am doing after graduation. Well, I am earning a degree in Early Childhood Education so hopefully I will be teaching children in the near future, however, I do not know what the future holds for me, only God knows and I am working on being okay with that.

13.  Quit wishing for tomorrow and embrace today.

        I constantly find myself looking forward to Friday, to the weekend, to the holidays, etc, that I completely miss the beauty of the present. Lately I have been working on living in the now and embracing the current day I have been given.

14.  Life is a beautiful, complicated journey, so enjoy the ride.

        If anyone ever told you life is easy, they were not being honest. It’s messy with a lot of bumps in the road, but it is so worth it if you embrace the journey. “It’s all messy: the hair, the bed, the words, the heart…Life,” –William Leal

Not having it all together and Trusting Jesus.

15.  I still get overwhelmed.

        Sometimes, school and projects and deadlines and expectations and appointments all seem to pile up and I find myself stressed and overwhelmed, (I dramatically exclaimed that I was dropping out just this week…don’t worry…I’m not), but I can rest in the simple fact that “no one has it all figured out.”

16.  I still need my mom.

        Even though I love to tell my mom that I’m a “grown up,” the truth is, I still need her. Whether I need to know how to do something or just need to talk for a few minutes, she is there. Honestly, moms are the best.

17.  I need community.

        I have survived (and mostly thrived in) college thanks to community. Without the support of my amazing friends, I could not have done it. They have been there for me at my best moments and at the lowest of the lows.

18.  I need Jesus (more than ever).

        I went through a period of time when I thought I could do this crazy thing called college all on my own. I was so wrong. I need Jesus, always have, always will. He relieves my stress when I’m worrying about the future; He picks me up when I fall; He brings me joy through my sorrow; He gives me grace when I deserve it the least.

19.  I am enough, and so are you.

       I fall into the trap of the comparison game all the time, telling myself I’m not as smart, talented, pretty, etc as another person. That is so not true. I have to remind myself that I am smart enough. I am pretty enough. I am kind enough. I am talented enough. I am enough, and I am unconditionally loved by the King of all Kings. If you fall into this trap of comparison, I urge you to say these things to yourself, and remember: “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” –The Help

20.  Jesus loves me unconditionally (still).

       In my previous blog post, I talked about doing some things I’m not proud of through my time of grief and going through a very dark period in my life. Sometimes it is challenging for me to let go of the guilt of the past and recognize that Jesus still loves me because I was saved by grace rather than anything I have done. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast.” I thank God everyday for continuing to love me.

21.  There is a plan for my life. I just need to trust it.

        If you know me well, you know that I am a planner. I like to have things all figured out. Right now I am at a time when I am preparing for my future career, knowing the direction I have mapped out for myself, but realizing that God has a plan for my life that is greater than my own, and I just need to trust Him. During this time, I am clinging to these two verses to remind myself to place my faith in Jesus rather than myself. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a future and a hope.” Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Cheers to the rest of 21!

Yours Truly,

Steph