Let's Talk About Love

Hey everyone! If you’re hoping for some steamy blog post in preparation for Valentine’s Day, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I hope you’ll continue reading because I believe deep down in my heart that this is so important that I’ve felt compelled to write about it, even if my thoughts are controversial.

I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day…in fact, it is literally my LEAST FAVORITE holiday. I know you might be thinking that I’m bitter because I’m single and I’m jealous of my friends who have significant others. That’s not the case. I have wonderful friends who will be my Valentines…that’s not the issue I have. I just hate the way society has commercialized a holiday that used to be truly about love and sacrifice, and made it incredibly superficial. For just a moment, I’m going to talk about the history, purpose, and legends behind Valentine’s Day, love, lust, and today’s pressures for both guys and girls on Valentine’s Day.

History/Purpose/Legends

Through a little bit of research, I learned that the history behind Valentine’s Day is unclear, however, there are some legends behind its original purpose. One legend believes that a man named Valentine (a priest) went ahead and married couples who were in love even though Emperor Claudius II of Rome banned all marriages. He was eventually put to death. Another says that Saint Valentine was killed for helping Christians escape harsh Roman prisons. A third states that an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting to a young girl with whom he fell in love. Before he was put to death, he wrote , “From Your Valentine,” a phrase still used today. All three of these legends display examples of true love and sacrifice, the original purpose for the celebration each year, but Valentine’s Day has been so commercialized that the meaning of love is so fuzzy that many don’t even know what it is; they have a false sense of it.

Love

The Biblical definition of love is: wanting good to come to another person; being concerned and willing to work for another person’s benefit.

Nowhere in that definition is the word “sex.” For some reason, sex and love have been so sensationalized in today’s media that many people think that sex and love essentially mean the same thing…and that cannot be further from the truth. One can show love without sex (look at friendships and relationships with families), and people can have sex without any love. Unfortunately, this happens a lot, leaving people broken and confused. God talks about the church being the “Bride of Christ,” and how our bodies are temples; we should treat them as such. I’ve looked up a few Bible verses about love and these were my favorites.

Colossians 3:14- “And over all of these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Song of Solomon 4:10- “How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than your wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice.” I think these verses are important because they show just how beautiful love can be; the greatest commandment is love; love unifies. Everyone needs to be truly loved for who they are, not on a superficial level, and everyone needs to know that you don’t have to have sex to receive love. Many girls feel pressure to flirt and flaunt themselves around guys, and do not want to say “no” when a guy wants to have sex, and guys feel pressured by their guy friends to score, but ladies and gentlemen, you  need to understand that “waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say, ‘I love you,’ but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true.” Many have heard the saying “True Love Waits,” and it might seem cheesy, but it is so true. If two people can save themselves for their wedding day, it’s a testament to the love inside of their hearts for each other. Crystalina Evert so beautifully stated, “If a man loves a woman, he will wait for her. Not only that, he will wait with her.” It’s the same thing for guys. Our Heavenly Father loved us all so much that he died for each and every one of us. We don’t need a greater love than that.

Lust

Today’s definition of love is oftentimes confused with the definition of lust. There’s a difference between loving someone and lusting after them. If you love someone, you value their beliefs and treasure what is in their heart, whereas if you lust after someone, you value their physical appearance…how their hot body looks in the summertime, how their eyes sparkle, and a lot of times, when someone is lusting, they’re trying to figure out how to get into the other’s pants. Sorry…had to say it. Guys and girls are equally guilty of this.

Pressure

One of my biggest issues with Valentine’s Day is the pressures that come with it. Sure, the pressures tie into lust, and what society expects on Valentine’s Day. Girls and guys both feel pressure to be the “perfect Valentine.” Girls oftentimes feel the need to buy “sexy” clothes to wear for their guy. That boggles my mind. If your guy truly loves you on every other day of the year, why do you need to change your appearance and make it more risqué or sexy on Valentine’s Day? It’s because that’s what society expects. Guys face immense pressure as well. They “have to” get their girl the best flowers, best chocolate, and have a super romantic date planned, otherwise he is considered lame. Chocolate, flowers, and dates are nice, but why on Valentine’s Day is it a have to? Well, that’s society again. In my opinion, people don’t need a certain day to express their love. Shoot, if a guy wants to get his girl flowers or chocolates just because, that’s way more special than doing it on Valentine’s Day because he did it because he wanted to, not because it’s a requirement placed on him by society. Finally, I’ve hit on this previously, but it’s so important. One of the biggest pressures on Valentine’s Day is to have sex because according to society, there’s no other day romantic than that. Here’s an important question to ponder: Why are we allowing society and the media to dictate the way we do relationships? Each person is unique and their relationships with their significant other as well as friends and family should not be dictated by any social expectations.

The main points I have attempted to convey is that love, lust, and sex are not the same thing, each and every one of you is special and beautiful and does not need someone to tell them that. Finally, your Heavenly Father loves you more than you could imagine, and much more than a human could even try, I mean, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Note that I am not attempting to make anyone feel guilty at all. That is not the purpose in this. I want everyone to know that they are truly loved and do not need to prove anything to anyone to receive this love. I also want everyone to know that you are beautiful just the way you are. You don’t need society’s approval. This message was to show my love and more importantly God’s love for each and every one of you.

Here are a couple more brilliant quotes about love to close us out.

“Love, I’ve come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime, Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.” –Nicholas Sparks

Finally, “Don’t compare your love story to those you watch in movies. They’re written by scriptwriters. Yours is written by God.”

Let’s Put the Love Back In Valentine’s Day

Yours Truly,

Steph