Kindness

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, KINDNESS, goodness, faithfulness, and self control." -Galatians 5:22

Hello all!
I hope you've had a wonderful week! I know mine has been a bit crazy, but my mommy is here for my sorority's Mom's Weekend AND IT'S FRIDAY, so life is pretty great. Anyway, this week, I'm going to talk about the verse above, especially kindness because it is so important to be kind to people day in and day out, whether or not you think they deserve it. However, in order to achieve kindness, you have to have the other fruits as well, especially love, patience, and self-control. Sometimes, being kind is easy, but at other times it takes every part of your being to turn the other cheek. So, this week, I'm going to give you some less than perfect, but well thought out advice on kindness. Bear with me.

First, you gotta have Love
When someone is really ticking you off and getting under your skin, it's impossible to be kind unless you can love. Usually, this love is much bigger than any love any human can exert, because we're all sinful and we don't want to show love to those who are making us mad, but if God had treated us the way we truly deserved to be treated, we would all be damned to Hell, but instead, he showed us an everlasting love in His Son, Jesus Christ, therefore we are called to love others the way Christ has loved us. It can be a challenge, but just think about His love for us and the grace and mercy he has shown time and time again. If God had not so loved the world, He would not have shown us grace by giving us His son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins, and He would not have shown us mercy by sparing us from eternal death. Therefore, since God did the impossible by loving us for who and what we are even though He is perfect, we are called to love even the unlovable. Through love comes kindness. If you can find it in your heart to love not just your friends, family, and those who are kind to you the majority of the time, but those who are not so kind, then it is much easier to practice kindness. You've gotta have God's help, though, at least I know I do.

Patience is a thing, too
I'm gonna be real honest with y'all right now. Patience is definitely the virtue I struggle with the most. I literally can't stand in lines without doing a tap-dance, and I'm not always the most patient with my peers. I can be patient with small children all day long, but I sometimes struggle with those my age just because I believe they know better. I do work on my patience all the time. I pray about it, and I'm getting better, only with the help of my Heavenly Father, though. I would not be able to do it without Him living through me. Patience is incredibly important when trying to show kindness. As stated previously, it's easy to be kind to people who are kind to you, however, it takes a great deal of patience to be kind to those who push your buttons. It's impossible if you lack patience. I know if I'm lacking patience, I'm not going to be kind. I do find it important to remind myself that many people are patient with me on a daily basis. I do things that are annoying and unkind...I know that, but others show me love, patience, and grace, and more importantly, my Heavenly Father is patient with me on a daily basis, so the least I could do is try, which His help, to exercise patience even when frustrated.

Self Control shows maturity
I know I've wanted to go off on people or fight them, or whatever, most people do, but I (usually) choose not to, which is an example of self control. That's kind of an extreme example, though. Even just watching what I say and how my words come across shows whether or not I'm practicing self-control or not. When I'm frustrated, I can approach the situation diplomatically and just address what is bothering me and offer solutions, or I can start placing blame. I've done both, but I try to approach things diplomatically; it's a sign of self control. When someone is able to exercise self control in aggravating situations, they are showing maturity. Self control is also incredibly important when trying to be kind. If you're trying to be kind, exercise self control and filter what you say to people. If you can't practice self control, kindness is not possible in unwelcome situations because things will be said that didn't need to be. I have to remind myself this regularly. In the end, if you don't have anything nice or productive to say, don't say anything. Sometimes I just have to bite my tongue and revisit the situation when I'm less steamed

Put yourself in their shoes
Empathy helps with practicing kindness. Is their a reason someone is rude to you or snapped at you, or whatever that made you irritated, hurt your feelings, or made you not want to be kind? Did they have a bad day? It would be kind to, instead of retaliating, ask them if something is bothering them, or just how their day was. Everyone has their off days. I do, and sometimes, I'm cranky and tick people off, but they empathize with me and show me kindness.

However, you're not a doormat
Being kind and being a doormat are two different things. It is incredibly difficult to draw the line in the sand sometimes, at least for me it is. There's a difference between someone being mildly unkind every once in a while due to an off day, hormones, or whatever, than someone being rude to you regularly. At one point you do have to put your foot down and say something or it will continue to escalate. You can still approach it in a kind and loving manner, though. A screaming match never needs to be the outcome.

So, communicate, kiddo
Communication is actually a lot more difficult than it sounds when someone is bugging you. I have a hard time expressing my feelings in words when I'm upset or irritated, so sometimes I tend to just let it go until the hostility builds and I've reached my boiling point. A friend of mine said something the other day that resonated with me. It was, "If something is bothering you and you don't talk to the person about it, you can't fully love them because you're holding bitterness against them." This was kind of an aha moment. Without love, one cannot be kind, and it's hart to love when there's bitterness in the heart, so things need to be addressed for kindness to prevail.

I hope all of that makes sense. Of course there are many more things one could write about on kindness, but this is what has been on my mind and my heart. I strive to live a life of kindness and love, so when my ability to be kind is tested, it's a little rough for me. I don't want people to remember me as being really smart (although that's not bad); I would much prefer to leave a legacy of Christ's love and kindness. When you're going throughout your day, remember this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, and I will remember it as well, "Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Have a wonderful weekend and a great week next week, and be kind to people, regardless of whether it's easy or not, and I will do the same!

"If you can be anything, be kind."

Yours truly,
Steph