To Nana, with Love

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." -Winnie the Pooh

Hey Everyone!
I hope you're enjoying your day! It's beautiful here in Texas right now...sunny, warm; it feels like spring, and it's still January! The sun made me smile today, that's for sure. Anyway, this post is a little heavier than some of the others I've posted thus far. The purpose of this post is to remember a beautiful woman, my nana, who left this world 14 years ago this month, so I'm going to write to her and about her today. If you've lost someone, I hope this brings you peace and comfort.

To Nana, with Love,
First of all, I just want to say that I love you, and miss you with all of my heart, but I know you've been watching me from above all this time. I also want to wish you a Happy Birthday! I hope you're partying up there with Jesus right now. This is kind of hard for me to write to you, because I wish you were here with me. I wish you hadn't left this world so many years ago...you were too young. I wish you could have visited us when we moved all over the country and lived in Germany. You would have loved it! I wish you could have been there to watch me graduate. It was a special time filled with friends and family, but you were definitely missing. Sometimes, it's hard to understand why things happen the way they do; why good people die early and criminals are allowed to live. I still to this day don't understand why God took you out of this world so early, but God knows what he's doing, even if we can't comprehend. Although I'm sometimes angry with God for taking you, it comforts me to know that you're still there...I carry you in my heart every day...I know you're looking down on me, and I hope you're smiling. It gives me peace to know that I will see you again one day.

Even though you passed when I was just 4 1/2, you taught me a lot about a lot. You taught me about love through the love that you showed so genuinely to me. I will never forget the pure joy on your face every time I saw you. You made me feel so special all the time. You had the patience of a Saint. Around the Holidays, my sister and I would make cookies with you for Santa. I've worked with small children a lot and I know cooking and making things with them can be frustrating and stressful, but you taught us how to roll out cookies, cut them out, encouraged us the whole way, and never got upset when things didn't turn out perfectly. You taught me tenacity and endurance. You never gave up on anything; you were a fighter, and thus, I'm a fighter. You would comfort me when Disney movies were a little too scary for my little self. You were, and still are so wonderful.

Although I know you're watching, the family is doing pretty well. Lindsey is a junior in high school and Daniel is in the 8th grade. Both of them have such amazing musical talents and Lindsey is phenomenal at theatre. You would be so proud. Daddy is retired now, but still works on base. My mom, your wonderful, beautiful daughter, is so strong. She got that from you, you know. She holds down the Fort when dad is away; she is always there for us no matter how big or small the need. She was and will always be an amazing mother, and I gather that's because she learned from the best. I love listening to her tell stories about her childhood when it was just the two of you, and the special bond between you. She's such a great role model...you should pat yourself on the back for a job well done. You'd also be proud of the way she has handled me going away to college. Of course, she misses me, but she allows me to do my own thing, and figure out who I am meant to be, only giving input when I ask. She's there for me when I need her, but she trusts me enough to give me the freedom to be who I am. That says a lot about her and it has made me love her even more, if that was even possible.

I'm doing well. I love going to TCU. The campus is beautiful and the community is amazing. I'm and elementary education major, taking after my mom, and I couldn't be more excited. I tried the nursing thing, but realized that wasn't where my heart was, so I decided to go back to my original plan. I have a lot more of mom in me than I thought. Everyone tells me I look like both her and dad, but more like my dad, but I have her tenacity, stubbornness, and love for children. I'm also told that I'm built like you and look kind of like you, too. Anyway, have a wonderful Birthday up there with Jesus. Go dancing with the King for me. Just know that I think of you all the time and hope that I'm making you proud.


Much Love,
Stephanie

"For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ." Colossians 2:5

Although there are days that are hard and I question God as to why he chose to take my amazing nana from this earth, I am comforted by the fact that she really is there in spirit, smiling from above. I hope that this post, the Winnie the Pooh quote, and the verse from Colossians give you peace if you are hurting and struggling with loss.

Feel free to leave comments, prayer requests, etc. below.

Yours Truly,
Steph